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Tag - hindi

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Baniya Hindi Jokes……….

Baniye ki Adat
Train mein ik mosquito Funny Chinese ke sir pe aa baitha.
Vo us ko pakar ke kha gaya. Fir ik matchar Bania pe baitha.
Us ne pakar ke Chinese ko poocha “khareedoge kya !!!”
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Ek Lota paani de de………. 
Bania’s Son: Papaji bahar Swimming pool k liye chanda mang rahe he..
Kanjoos Bania: Koi baat nahi Beta, Ek lota paani de de.
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Mere papa ko nahi jante
Teacher:   Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hain.
10% interest ke hisab se voh 1 saal bad loan vapis karte hain.
Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?
Bania’s son: Kutch bhi nahi.
Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.
Bania’s funny son: Me to maths janta hu, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante. 



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Santa ka Dimag

Santa ka Dimag Computer se tej hai……...

Ek deewar par likha tha ‘Yaha kutte susu karte hain’
Santa ne waha susu kiya.
Fir muskura kar bola-ise kehte hai dimaag,
susu maine kiya naam kutte ka aaya



Banta ki Antim Ichha

Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle,
bata teri antim ichha kya hai?
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..

Maa Kaha Hai……….
Santa-Mere pass gadi hai ,bunglow hai,paisa hai tumhare paas kya hai ?
Banta- Mere paas bhi gadi hai bunglow hai paisa hai.
Santa-to saale apni maa kiske paas hai ?



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Sholay Jokes – Gabbar-Sambha

Gabbar v/s Sambha

Gabbar:- Kitne admi the?
Sambha:- Sardar 2.
Gabbar:- Mujhe ginti nahi aati.2 kitne hote hai?
Sambha:- Sardar 2, 1 k baad aata hai.
Gabbar:- Or 2 k pahle?
Sambha:- 2 k pahle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar:– To bich me kaun aata hai?
Sambha:- Bich me koi nahi aata hai.
Gabbar:– To phir dono ek saath kyon nahi aate hai?
Sambha:- 2, 1 k baad hi aa sakta hai. Kyon ki 2, 1 se bada hota hai.
Gabbar:- 2, 1 se kitna bada hota hai?
Sambha:- 2 ,1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar:- Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Sambha:- Sardar maine apka namak khaya hai. Mujhe goli mar do.




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Fact in Loved

Ladki usually Sex Karny Ke Baad Kya Kahti Hai?

I Love You?

Wrong!

That Was Great?

Wrong Again!

I Love It?

Aray Nahi Yaar…

Sahi Jawab: “Suno Meri Bra aur Panty Kahan rakhi hai.“




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A middle aged woma……..

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God She asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”

God replied – I didn’t recognize you.”



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There are two ants…….

There are two ants living in a girl’s pair of panties. One day they decide to go exploring in the caves. They said to meet back in the same spot in and hour. So, one ant went in one cave, and the other ant in a different cave.

After an hour went by, the two ants met back up.

One ant was covered in brown, sticky, smelly stuff. “Eeew!, What was your cave like” asked the other ant.

“It was nice at first, but it soon became really smelly and the walls were all dark and sticky” replied the ant. “So how was your cave?”.

“Well” he said, “It was lovely at first, all pink and warm, but then this bald guy started head butting me and then spitting on me.”



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Bartan Achay Dhultay hain………..

SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai. Mai Kehta hon,
Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Dost: Garam pani Q?

Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.



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Answer bata ke ja………..

SARDARji : Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, “I AM GOING”?
FRIEND :Main jaa raha hun.
SARDARji : Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain….answer bata ke jaa..